


No Guilt

by orphan_account



Category: The X-Files, The X-Files RPF, gillovny - Fandom, txf - Fandom
Genre: F/M, RPF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-01-10 11:53:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12298713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Gillian's last night in London before filming for 6 months in Vancouver with David. GILLIAN ANDERSON/PETER MORGAN YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!





	1. The Night Before Vancouver

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to Gillovny hell for this. Scratch that... I'm just going straight to regular hell for this. I found a scenario that would make me like Peter Morgan so I wrote it down and decided to share for those of you that like torturing yourself like I do. I'm just going to apologize in advance.

Her chest rises rapidly as she comes down from her high. Her body is slicked with an intoxicatingly sexy layer of sweat that he admires as he pushes her sex-tousled hair out of her face. Her hand rests on his chest as she looks down at him with a slightly sex drunk kinda smile. 

She’s happy in this little bubble they’ve been in, not even the Portofino incident could ruin the immense sense of content that she feels with her life right now. Peter might not be the most exciting man, but he was stable. She needed that in her life right now. He was there for her when she needed him. He understood her, at least this new mature version of her. She cared for him, but then again she had cared for the others too, and that’s what worried her.

Everything was about to change. Tomorrow she would be on a flight to Vancouver for 6 months of filming with David. Her relationships always got complicated when David came into the picture, no matter how hard she tried not to let it happen. Peter knew the history between her and David. He knew when they started showing interest in each other that she had just gotten out of a relationship with David, a very complicated relationship that started 25 years prior. She was doing the adult thing, trying to be completely honest because Peter was someone she could see herself being with, mostly because he lived on the same continent as her. 

Tonight was different than the others Gillian and Peter spent together. They both had the next 6 months hanging over their heads.

“Gillian…” Peter’s soft words take her out of her thoughts. The high from her orgasm is starting to wear off.

She lets out a sigh. “I’m leaving tomorrow.” There’s a sadness in her voice, not just because she’s leaving, but because she knows what toll the next few months will take on their relationship. She had just gotten comfortable with the newness of it all. She was finally starting to let her guard down a little more, even though flaunting her new relationship so soon on the red carpet just felt.. wrong. She kept telling herself that none of her fans really knew about her relationship with David. It was never public. She has no reason to keep her guard up on the red carpet, but there was still somebody that wouldn’t let her completely relax.

“I know, love.” He gives her a reassuring smile. There no where in the world he’d rather be than lying with her naked body on top of his, her perfect breasts staring down at him.

“I don’t think you do, Peter.” She takes in another breath. 

She was brutally honest with him about David, she had to be if there was any chance to make this work between her and Peter. She told him as much of their complicated history as she could, without going into too much detail. She had told him about the dark days, as the fans had dubbed them. She told him about the times she had ended up in David’s bed when she was someone else. She even told him about the crushing guilt she felt afterwards and how she sabotaged the relationship despite knowing that her partner had already figured out about the indiscretion. 

“Hmm, but I do.” He still had a soft smile on his face as he wrapped his hands around her tiny waist. “Fuck him if you need to.” He says with complete honesty. There is no hint of anger or jealously behind his words. This isn’t some test. He’s an adult who knows exactly what he’s saying.

She’s taken aback by what she’s just heard. “WHAT? No!” She shakes her head. Unable to completely process what this even means. “You can’t be serious. Why would you even say that?!”

“Yes, Gillian, I am completely serious.” He sits up, pulling her into his lap. “You’re going to be away for months. We probably won’t see each other more than once or twice.” He traces circles along her waist with his thumbs. “I know how stressful filming is for you, especially around him. I don’t want to add any more unnecessary stress. I want you to enjoy filming, and I know you. You will avoid spending time with David, your friend, because of what you think might happen. You’ll be miserable, and I don’t want that.”

She just stares into his eyes with a puzzled expression and lets him finish.

“So fuck him if you need to. It doesn’t matter. It’s just sex, a habit, from what you have told me. I know that when it’s over you are going to come back home to me, to our new home. So, I am giving you permission to fuck David without any guilt.” He brings a hand up to cup her cheek. “Whatever happens in Vancouver will not change anything between us. Fuck him or don’t fuck him, just don’t treat these next few months as a death sentence for us.”

She leans down and kisses him with a passion that she’s never expressed before. Yes, this is a man she can definitely see herself being with for a long time. 

She pulls away with a smirk. “I’m not going to fuck him.”

He gives her a chuckle. “Of course you will, but it will take more than that to get rid of me.” He knew what he was getting himself into. He knew that Duchovny would always be a part of Gillian’s life, but never in the way that he was. Unlike her previous significant others, he wasn’t bothered by her tendency to end up in bed with Duchovny. It was just her bad habit, something that he could live with.


	2. New York Comic Con

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The real reason the NYCC comic con panel was late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you guys seem to like the first part of this story, I decided to continue it. This is the first time I've continued any fic I've written, so I'm not really sure where to go from here. I got a little inspiration from Comic Con. This is a short chapter. They'll get longer as I figure out where I'm going with this story and become more comfortable with writing.

It’s 2pm and Gillian’s head is nestled into David’s chest while the fans anxiously cheer for them off-stage, just a few feet away. Her head in spinning. Her chest is tight. She doesn’t know why she keeps agreeing to these things. They make her so damn uncomfortable, but the fans—they love it, and fuck if she doesn’t like brining a smile to their faces.

So, Gillian has her head buried against David’s chest, inhaling his scent as he rubs her back. He’s the only thing that really bring her comfort at these events. He still knows how to calm her, just like he always has.

But this time is different. She’s not pressed against some dirty, hundreds of feet away from fans who would die to see her in the position she’s in—skirt bunched up around her thighs, leg wrapped around David’s waist, having the anxiety fucked right now of her. No, this is very different. 

She has a beautifully worded text from Peter, trying his best to calm her, but somehow it only make she more anxious. His words from the night before she left linger in her head: “Fuck him if you need to.” And fuck, she needs to. She needs to have his hands gripping her hips so tightly that it’ll leave marks for weeks, but she won’t do it. Not again. Not this time. 

She’s wore an outfit that made it nearly impossible for a quickie. The jumpsuit is perfect. No skirt to push up in a rush. No pants to have his hands slide into. She’s not going to make past mistakes. She can be strong. 

David’s lips grazing her ear and the soft tone of his voice bring her back to reality. “It’s time, G-woman.” He presses a kiss to her hair, and she can feel his lips curl into a smile. She thinks she can even feel him inhale her scent.

She pulls her head away to look at him and takes a deep breath. 

“You good?” He asks with such love and pure care that it takes every fiber in her being from dragging him off stage and locking them in a hotel room for the rest of the weekend to make sweet, slow love.

Instead she just gives a small nod. “Yeah, I’m good.” She can feel her own heart breaking as the words leave her lips. She had no idea how hard this would be. 

David grabs her hand and gives it a squeeze before she’s introduced. Their hands slip apart as she walks away from him, once again, only this time it hurts just a little more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments really motivate me to write. Also, feel free to leave me your ideas! Again, I'm a sucker for Gillovny so this story will 99.9% end with a happy ending for Gillovny.


	3. Old Habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still no gillovny sex YET. Oh, but you can bet your ass that it is coming!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had originally intended this to be chapter 4. I was going to write everything other chapter as GA/PM's relationship falling apart, BUT I realized that I didn't want to subject anybody to that. Honestly, I don't even know if I want to subject myself to that. So until my brain comes up with another scenario that I want to write PM in, I'm going to just focus on Gillovny.

“Why did we agree to do this again? Who the hell thought this was a good idea.” Gillian groans as she plops herself down on the couch in David’s trailer, still dressed in Scully’s clothes—minus the jacket that is already on David’s floor— and excruciating heels.

They’re both way too exhausted to even consider driving home, especially when they have to be back at it in a few hours anyway. 

David yanks off his tie, throws off his suit jacket, and unbuttons the buttons on Mulder’s now dirt-stained white button-down shirt. Gillian’s bra somehow ends up landing on top of Mulder’s dress shoes. 

What a fucking day. He falls on the couch, beside Gillian. “Because we actually had fun last time…” He paused for a moment, letting a small, tired smirk fall over his face. “And Chris was basically on his knees begging you to come back.” 

Gillian kicks her heels off with a wince and brings her legs up, sprawling them out across David’s lap. “We’re too old for this shit.” 

“I’m older than you, Gil!” He says with a giddy chuckle. 

David’s tired hands make their way to her aching feet. He’s done this so many times, it’s almost like a habit, like the same habit that brought the two of them into the same trailer that night instead of their own, separate trailers.

“Yeah, well, you don’t have to fucking run in heels!” A soft sigh that could almost be misinterpreted for a moan leaves her lips as David’s hands work her tiny, overused feet. “God, you’re amazing!” 

David smirks again, not stopping his motions. “Not god, just David.” 

She rolls her eyes, and leans over to smack his shoulder. “Shut up, _Mulder_.”

They both burst into laughs, the kind of euphoric laugh that only exhaustion can bring on. In the craziness of all the laughing, David’s hands slide up Gillian’s legs to her thighs, and he manages to pull her into his lap. Her hands instantly go to his warm, toned chest. Her own chest aches with need. She missed this way more than she was willing to admit. 

He wants to kiss her, and he knows by the way she’s looking at his lips and her own tongue is darting out to wet her bottom lip that she wants to kiss him too. But she’s not his anymore to kiss, and even though that never stopped him before, he’s come to love and respect her enough in the past few years that he wouldn’t put her that position again. She means too much to him.

Gillian’s head comes to rest on his shoulder while her arms wrap around his neck. “David…” Her words are just a tired whisper, but it’s enough to convey everything she’s feeling. She wants him. She needs to be close to him, even if she knows that don’t belong to each other anymore. No, that’s a lie. They will always belong to each other, but she has made a commitment to another man.

Peter might have given her permission to fuck David, but he doesn’t understand that she can’t just fuck this man. There’s too much history, too much love still just under the surface. She would make slow, sweet love to David, and it would be beautiful and make her forget all the heartache that comes with loving him. One night, and she would forget all about Peter. She’d forget all the reasons she and David didn’t work out, and she couldn’t do that to herself, to David, or to Peter. At least not tonight. 

“I know.” David whispers back before scooping her up into his arms. “Let’s go to sleep, Gill.” 

He carries her to the bedroom and gently places her on the bed, trying to show that his intent is pure. He wiggles out of his shirt and pants before pulling Scully’s skirt off. She’s already halfway sleeping, but somehow, he manages to get her into his Kale t-shirt before slipping into bed, pressing his chest against her back, wrapping his arms around her, and drifting off into peaceful sleep. 

It’s the most peaceful, uninterrupted sleep that either of them have had in over a year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments. Not going to lie, it's pretty much the only reason I'm continuing this story.


	4. Goodbye

I'm sorry guys, but I'll be orphaning this work. It just seems wrong to me to write this anymore. It always felt a little wrong, but now I just can't do this anymore. I'm done with caring about gillovny in anything more than a casual interest. I'm not going to delete this because I know some of you really enjoy this story, and I don't want to take that away from you just because my feelings have changed. Anyway, this is the end. I wish you all well. Sorry I couldn't finish this.

**Author's Note:**

> This might be something I actually continue because I a sucker for Gillovny and happy ending, but we'll see. It depends on if you guys like it or not... and how mean you assholes or are not.


End file.
